Kathryn and I watched a pretty damn terrifying movie last night. It was French, but that’s not why it was scary. Ils (Them) is about a couple living in a secluded house in the woods beset by a group of hooded assailants who attack them without provocation. Simple plot, but it turned out to be one of the most frightening movies I’ve ever seen.

There is a similar movie coming out at the end of the month, called The Strangers, which the director has stated is NOT a remake. Kathryn was pretty freaked by Ils, so it’s going to be a bit of an effort to get her to go with me.

The only thing that sucks about Ils and The Strangers is that the story is similar to an outline I wrote for an upcoming novel.

IAN: Yeah, the characters and the ending are completely different, but the set-up — couple living in remote house attacked by weirdos — is pretty much the same.

KAT: It probably couldn’t be your first novel, but you could sell it after you made a name for yourself. Look at all the haunted house novels out there. Are you telling me that every single one of them doesn’t have at last one or two things in common?

IAN: House of Leaves was pretty original.

KAT: Yes, but it still had a lot of classic haunted-house elements, like the idea of a house that’s bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. That’s been done in dozens of haunted house stories.

IAN: Yeah…

KAT: So don’t worry about it. Yes, there will be some people who say, ‘This is just The Strangers‘ — because let’s face it, most people over here won’t even know what Ils is much less see it — but there will always be people like that, comparing one thing to another, always complaining, never satisfied. It makes them feel smart and superior to criticize everything.

IAN: You so smart, babe.

KAT: So what’s your book going to be called?

IAN: I was thinking Elles…

KAT: Ha-ha. Seriously.

IAN: It’s going to be called Until Death. I was originally thinking ‘Til Death Do Us Part, but I thought it sounded a little too Mary Higgins Clark.

KAT: Yeah, it does.

IAN: So I shortened it, dropped the apostrophe and left it as Until Death.

KAT: Cool, I like it.

IAN: Thanks, babe.

KAT: Now can you check under the bed and make sure none of the Ils are under there.

That last part was my fault. After we finished the movie it was around midnight, and in my usual horror guy fashion I started telling my wife things like You know, one of the Ils is probably going to be standing on our back deck when we go upstairs and I don’t want to frighten you, but there’s probably an Ils under the bed. I should add that I was pronouncing Ils like eels, because I thought it sounded funny and arrogant, and my wife agreed: “Yes, dear, you’re very amusing and offensive.”

As for my planned novel, I know the couple-attacked-by-strangers-at-their-isolated-home idea isn’t exactly an original plot, but I think I still have a chance. Most of these types of stories end on a vague, mysterious note, whereas mine has more closure. Vague and mysterious can sometimes be scary, as it is in the case of films like Ils or The Blair Witch Project, but there are just as many people who hate those kinds of endings and feel every movie should have a “proper” ending.

Either way, I feel my story is safe. And since I probably won’t get around to writing it for a few years, I don’t have to worry about trying to get it published so close to the release of Ils and The Strangers.