It’s official, folks! “Relaxed Best” has been accepted for an upcoming issue of Not One of Us.

This sale marks the last of my “early stories,” of which “Inheritor,” “Charlotte’s Frequency,” and “Winter Hammock” were the others. It feels good to find homes for these stories because they’re the ones I’d be retiring first after they’d made the rounds. This is also my third acceptance of the year — one a month, Kathryn pointed out. Thanks, babe. Now let’s see if I can keep it up.

The editor decided to go with the alternative title, “Al Azif,” which is the name of the nightclub in the story. It’s also the original Arabic title of H.P. Lovecraft’s fictional tome, the Necronomicon. Roughly translated, it means “that nocturnal sound (made by insects) supposed to be the howling of demons.”

Now doesn’t that sound like the kind of place you want to stop at for cocktails on a Saturday night? Just don’t order a Bloody Mary. Mwahahhhahahahahahahha…

…and so on and so forth.

• Currently reading: "Cruisers," by John Sayles

Received an e-mail from the editor of Not One of Us:

I have been holding onto “Relaxed Best” far longer than I usually do with submissions. That’s because I really like the story, but I haven’t been able to get over one last hurdle. So rather than wasting any more time, I come directly to you.

I don’t understand the title metaphor. What is it about a person performing just before his death that makes it his relaxed best? Since the term is in the title, I’m making the assumption that it applies to more than just the one scene with the trombone player, and I’m not sure how it applies to Ryerson (he certainly isn’t relaxed when he gets on stage). On the other hand, I may be making the wrong assumption about the title, and the problem could be resolved by using a different title, like “Al Azif” (I love the implications of the club’s name) or something having to do with familiar, that doesn’t make me scurry around for the deeper meaning.

Apart from that one thing, I love the story. I have a soft spot for noir, always wished I got more stories with that sort of atmosphere. I suppose one might wonder why a powerful witch would send a mere mortal P.I. to find her familiar, but that hardly bothers me. In the real world, oe shouldn’t expect a witch to be omniscient or omnipotent.

I’m all set to be won over, so I look forward to hearing from you.

I’m reluctant to call this one an out-and-out acceptance until the editor actually tells me so. But I can’t see him turning it down at this point, seeing as how he didn’t have any problems with the actual story. And I’m not so much in love with my title that I wouldn’t want to change it.

I did explain the meaning of the phrase “relaxed best” in the context of the story, but I like “Al Azif,” too. A smoky Lovecraftian blues club by any other name… and so forth.

Tonight I pack for the World Horror Convention. I’m ironing my suit so I can look debonair (or “duh-boner,” as my dad would say) and Kat’s charging her cell phone so I’ll have it for hooking up with my mates.

We’re taking off right after work tomorrow, so I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get in another post before I leave. If not, then I’ll see y’all on Sunday.

• Currently reading: "Cruisers," by John Sayles

I’m happy to report that the anthology Fall and Rise, featuring my post-apocalyptic Peterborough story, “Everything Gets Bigger After Nuclear War,” is now available.

For now you can only purchase the book directly from the publisher, Whortleberry Press, but the editor informed me that he is making arrangements to get it up on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc. I’ll post more details as I get them.

It’s been almost a year since the publication of “The Tattletail” — as I’ve moaned about on several occasions — and I have to say it feels pretty damn good to finally have another story out. And in a book, no less!

While I appreciate the support from my small cadre of visitors, I don’t want anyone to buy a copy just to help me out. I always want you, the reader, to get your money’s worth. Fortunately, with this list of contributors, I know you won’t be disappointed (and at $9 + shipping, it’s more than reasonable). I have no doubt that the rest of the stories in this book will be great.

Mine will just be the best one, is all.

• Currently reading: "Supple Bodies," by Conrad Williams

St. Paddy’s Day was a good one this year. I ended up going out with Kathryn’s cousin, her cousin’s brother-in-law, and her sister’s boyfriend. Just the boys, in other words. We went to a bar downtown, managed to snag the best table in the place out of sheer good timing, and spent the night drinking and schmoozing. I walked home, since I live so close by, and went directly to bed. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

Woke up this morning sans hangover, which is always a plus, and caught up on some all-important crocheting. I really have to post a picture of my afghan. It’s coming along nicely. And remember that freaky, straight-out-of-the-Matrix coffeemaker? Well, we have this humidifier, and it’s pretty bizarre, as well. Something I took particular notice of last night when I was sleeping by myself. Whereas the coffeemaker has that green witchlight, the humidifier has this eldritch blue glow. Yeah, this is what happens when Kat leaves me alone for a couple of days…

I meant to report that on Friday I received an e-mail from the editor of the Touched By Wonder anthology. She sent the final edits for “The Currents,” including a suggestion that I change the title as the story is more about the man who rides the currents as opposed to the currents themselves. I agreed but I didn’t think much of her new title, “Travelling Man.” I suggested a compromise, “The Man from the Currents,” which she went for, and now everyone is happy. My cheque should be arriving any day now, and the book is still on schedule for a summer/fall release.

Also, Kathryn returned from London this afternoon with a surprise for me. To celebrate my permanent job she gave me The Departed on DVD. “I even remembered to get you the special edition,” she pointed out.

That, my friends, is love.

• Currently reading: "Famine Country," by Joyce Carol Oates

Today the city council deliberated on this year’s operating budget. The part important to me was the decision of whether or not to turn my job into a permanent full-time position.

At 1:24 p.m., I called Kathryn at work.

KAT: Hello?
ME: Got it.
KAT: What?
ME: I got the job.
KAT: Shut up.
ME: Okay.

Much hooting and hollering followed, and Kat may have even shed a tear or two (that’s just her way). It’s a big deal for us because my getting a permanent job was really the final thing we needed in order to live in this area indefinitely. A difficult task by the simple fact that there aren’t a lot of web-based jobs out here in the willywags. If I didn’t get this one, I had a choice between Taco Bell and an escort service. I even had my “stage name” all picked out for the latter. Using the traditional method of taking my pet’s name and the street where I grew up, I determined my new name would have been Thor Guthrie. Nice, eh? Hey baby, behold the power of Thor’s hammer… and so on and so forth.

Anywho, I need no longer worry about selling tacos or my hot bod. Now all I have to worry about is selling stories and catching up on all the writing I’ve missed these past few weeks on account of all the stress I’ve been dealing with.

Unfortunately, Kat and I won’t get to celebrate until Sunday as she’s off to visit a friend in London this weekend (London, Ontario, that is). She mentioned her cousin Drew is looking for a wingman/drinking buddy on Saturday night (St. Paddy’s Day and all), so I’ll probably go out and pound a beer or two. Maybe even three or four.

I feel like I deserve it.

• Currently reading: "Famine Country," by Joyce Carol Oates

Kat and I got back from the Falls yesterday. We had a great time even though the weather wasn’t so nice. Fortunately none of the activities we had planned were dependent on the weather.

Friday night we just took it easy and went out for dinner at the Outback. Kat and her sister polished off a bottle of wine in no time, while Stephen and I looked on with much amusement (and some encouragement).

Saturday morning, Kat’s sister got her second surprise when her cousin Stephanie showed up with her husband, Jamie. Then we all piled on a mini-bus for a wine tour of the Niagara area. The wine tour, which covered four wineries over the course of the afternoon, actually consisted of only one tour, and I got the impression that the concept of the wine tour is really to get ripped on a wide selection of wines while having a designated driver to take you home afterwards. So I decided to just go with it.

That night we went to dinner at a place called the Spicy Olive, which wasn’t so great (I don’t know how you can screw up a steak, but they managed somehow), then we stopped at one of the casinos on the walk back to the hotel. Kat and I decided casinos aren’t really our thing – not that we ever thought they were – and we bailed out fairly early. We’ll stick to seeing them on CSI, thanks.

We left early Sunday morning because everyone had things to do. Kat and I picked up some groceries/catfood and still had time to relax and enjoy the day. We ended the night by watching Pan’s Labyrinth, which was amazing.

Unfortunately I didn’t come home to any major writing news, except I can tell you now that “Inheritor” will be appearing in issue #58 of Cemetery Dance, which is slated for publication in May.

• Currently reading: "Last Summer at Mars Hill," by Elizabeth Hand

I haven’t posted in a few days on account of my getting sick again. Wasn’t as bad as the last one, but it still put me out of commission for a few days. I haven’t gotten any writing done lately, but I’m hoping to catch up next week as I get my strength back.

Not much happened this week. Here’s the latest news, such as it is:

• I received the signed contract from Touched by Wonder, which I will be filing away in my oh-so-organized cabinet of publishing paperwork;
• Good episode of Lost this week, although it was a bit disappointing to see the Flame hatch go up in flames (ahh, irony) so soon after it was found;
• Kat and I finished watching Season 6 of CSI (good);
• We also saw The Prestige (very good);
• I went to my dentist appointment last night (no cavities).

I’ve received a few e-mails lately concerning both Salt and Revelation 4:1. Unfortunately I have no updates on either of these publications. I’m still waiting on the galley for Salt, and I have yet to receive a reply to my e-mails from Fourth Horseman Press regarding the latter. I think everyone is just really busy right now. I appreciate your patience, and I’m sure I’ll have something to report soon.

I can tell you that Fall and Rise has just gone to print, which is great news, and that Horror Library - Volume 2 will be available for sale at the World Horror Convention, with the worldwide release set for April 1.

Kat and I are going to Niagara Falls this weekend for her sister’s birthday. I’ll post some pics when I get back, and maybe I’ll have some news to report, as well. We’ll see.

• Currently reading: "Tourist Trap," by Barbara Roden

Received an e-mail from Jim Ordolis, the Toronto-based artist who is illustrating Revelation 4:1, informing me that he just sent off the final illustration yesterday. Not sure how long it’ll take the editor to format the images, but I figure I’ll have some solid information within the next week or so.

Jim also mentioned that he liked my story a lot, which was very nice, and that as a huge Lovecraft fan he enjoyed “how you hinted at different possible explanations for the apocalyptic situation depicted in the story without actually spelling out specific details.”

There you go, folks. Advanced praise for my second published story, “Winter Hammock.”

Available soon!

Um… I hope.

• Currently reading: "The Finger," by Stewart O'Nan