I think if there is one piece of punctuation that people have the most trouble applying it is the semicolon.

It’s a stupid little thing, really; the asthma medicine of the written word; used to connect two or more would-be sentences that can’t quite stand on their own.

Strangely, I know of someone who has the opposite problem when it comes to semicolons, in that he uses them too much. Actually, too much would be putting it lightly. This guy is absolutely semicolon cuh-razee! What’s worse is he doesn’t know how to use them, either.

In order to explain this person’s improper use of the semicolon, I need to explain that he is, like me, a pop culture freak, especially when it comes to movie and TV trivia. Likewise he tends to quote quite a bit from his favorite books/movies/tv shows. He uses these quotes to posts he makes on various internet message boards, because as we all know nothing says I’m smart like quoting someone else. The problem is, instead of using a colon after the name of the person he’s quote, he uses a semicolon. For example:

HOMER; Marge; what’s the number for 9-1-1?!

I put this to a number of people, writers and nonwriters alike, and all agree that while the rules of writing are quite flexible, this is clearly a case of blatantly improper semicolon usage.

It’s sad, really. There are no support groups for these people. Perhaps we should stick them with the sad lot that regularly frequent writing workshops and the like. Those things created to keep busy the hobbyist writer may also help the semicolon abusers of the world.

We can only hope.

Ian

I think I’ve finally realized why the film adaptation of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was better than the first two films. Yes, the story is a bit more adult, but I think the big difference was in the actual directing of the film.

Chris Columbus, who directed the first two movies, has never been known for his artistic style. You don’t look at a movie say, Hmm, this looks like a Chris Columbus flick. While on the other hand, Alfonso Cuarón, director of Prisoner of Azkaban, has given the new film a dark, exotic feeling that better exemplifies that magical setting of the books.

I also read that one of the stipulations in his contract was that he wasn’t allowed to swear in front of the child actors. I wonder if he was allowed to screen any of his other films?

Ian

So I’m at the wedding reception on Saturday, sitting at the "MacBeth" table, thinking as a guest I’m in the clear, until the M.C., a very nice fellow named Jamie, mentioned that one of us (us being the boyfriends at Table MacBeth) had to get up and perform one of the embarrassing tasks to get the bride and groom to kiss (a basket of said tasks was done in lieu of the more traditional – and in my opinion, slightly obnoxious – tinkling of the glasses). The two guys sitting next to me had already decided to go in on a limerick on marriage, leaving me to kick things off, alone. I did so by offering the couple an impromptu piece of advice on love letters, and the humorous dichotomy of a horror writer attempting to produce one. It seemed to go over well, with applause and the requisite laughs, while all the while I kept thinking, Not too bad for a guy who’s last public speaking engagement was probably in elementary school.

The bride and groom are honeymooning in Scotland, where they plan to take lots of pictures, and have made me a personal promise to keep an eye out for the Loch Ness Monster.

Ian

I know most news outlets tend to have a political bias, but I would have figured the Associated Press to be the most impartial. But today I read an AP article that CNN picked up on the release of Fahrenheit 9/11. Most disconcerting to me is at the end of the piece two people, one pro-Bush and one anti-Bush, give their thoughts on the film. Their opinions are predictable, but the part that shook me was that the stringer made a point of describing the pro-Bush viewer as an employed production assistant, while the anti-Bush viewer is still "looking for full-time work." The first time I read it, I sat back and thought, What the hell does that have to do with anything? And that’s why I’m wondering now, was the point of the article to suggest that the opinions of unemployed viewers hold less weight than those of people with jobs? Maybe they’re trying to suggest that unemployed people who like the film are anti-government, or at the very least anti-Bush. Ugh, just read the article for yourself and pay attention to those two quotes.

I haven’t seen Fahrenheit 9/11 yet, but I understand that it partly concerns the atmosphere of terror created by the Bush Administration to push along its own agenda on a public too scared to know any better; and if you don’t agree with it, or even question the motives of Bush & Co., well, you must not love your country very much. It’s pretty stupid reasoning, and most level-headed people would agree, but it seems one can get away with an awful lot by threatening someone else’s patriotism (reminds me of a little trial in Salem a while back).

Speaking on this issue reminds me of a contest that was held earlier this year, Bush in 30 Seconds, it was called, where participants were given the task of creating pseudo-campaign commericals. The winner and the runner-up are worth a look; the latter is especially amusing as it features children spouting off the various proclamations made by Bush to date.

Boy, this section has been unusually political these past few weeks, hasn’t it? That was never my intent when I started posting here more frequently, I can assure you. Usually politics bore me, and while I still feel the Canadian equivalent is rather mundane, the show south of the border has been reaching me on a level somewhere betweeen entertaining and disturbing. Never before have I watched the events of the world unfold and actual feel the ripples through my daily life. Not that it affects us that much up here, but I’ve spoken to more than a few people who have also taken this strange new interest in current politic events (and not just in the U.S.). I think this can be explained, at least partly by the fact that I am an avid reader of the news. This is also an election year, so the press is writing a lot about it. The war in Iraq is ongoing, and that is also in the news a lot. And Michael Moore’s movie has seemingly dragged the entire entertainment community into the Bush debate. I don’t think the lines in the sand have ever been drawn as deeply as they have over this particular president.

This is a long one today, and I apologize for ranting. On the other hand, I’m going away for the weekend (the girlfriend’s sister is getting married on Saturday), so look at it as a little something to tide you over until Sunday.

Take care.

Ian

Some countries have UFOs, some have lake monsters, but in Europe the big mystery has always been cats of unusual size. Large, often black, felines of unknown origin have been reported (and in some cases photographed) in regions where they have never been known to live. The answer to one such "big cat" mystery turned up in the news today.

I wish I could say I’m surprised, but anyone who’s ever been to Casa Rogers (i.e. my apartment) knows that I”m in possession of some rather large felines myself.

Ian

Thanks to Chris for hooking me up with a new Gmail account. Google’s foray into the world of free-mail is a hot commodity these days – rather, it’s very geek-chic right now; an invitation-only kind of thing. Gmail offers better spam protection, a 1000mb of space, and a very cool, very innovative mail-management system. Clever stuff, really. I wonder how long it’ll take Hotmail and even Microsoft to look into this for their next version of Outlook.

Chris gets a double thank-you today, as he has finally acquired a much sought-after copy of the rare, controversial British nuclear war film, Threads. The American equivalent, The Day After, is a good film in its own right, but Threads is much bleaker (if that’s possible), much more graphic, and thus more realistic depiction of life post-nuclear war. If any of you had any doubts about my inclination toward the macabre, I can tell you that every November I organize a movie festival featuring movies about nuclear war (The Day After, Testament, On The Beach). It’s called the Nuclear Winter Film Festival. And we now have a new flick to add to the lineup. Thanks again, Chris!

Oh, and the Associated Press picked up that article on Ray Bradbury and Fahrenheit 9/11. He says he won’t sue (probably because he can’t), but he wants Michael Moore to change the title of the film. Yeah, that’ll happen.

In other (ficitonal) news, Moore has decided on the subject of his next documentary: George Bush and his campaign for re-election in November. Proposed title: Something Wicked This Way Comes.

Ian

I think the best used bookstore in all of Toronto would have to be Eliot’s on Yonge Street. Three floors of books, real wooden shelves, and the only place in the city that smells like a book store. Certainly beats Bakka, which, in my opinion, is overpriced, and BMV, where the smells come in only one flavor: geek-b.o. Memories of Toronto Trek … ahh … oh sweet Neo coat, where for art thou?

And, while I’m looking forward to picking up Kids in the Hall and SCTV on DVD, what I really want to know is, where are the Degrassi DVDs? Where?!!

Also In the "unrelated to writing" area of interest, I saw my couch on Trading Spaces yesterday.

Yes, this is my life.

Ian

The movie doesn’t come out for another couple of weeks, but it hasn’t stopped the nerds from arguing about whether or not the new M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village is going to be any good.

You know, I love the geeks. I mean, once I start publishing novels, I’m sure they’ll compose an important part of my sales demographic. But they have a long reputation for blasting movies they haven’t seen and books they haven’t read. The people that are already calling The Village as a sub par horror flick are, for the most part, the same people who didn’t like any of Night’s other films (The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs). As such, their opinions don’t come as much of a surprise; likewise, one wonders why they’re even bothering in the first place. After all, if they haven’t liked any of the man’s film’s so far, why both commenting on any of his new projects, know they’re going to hate them, too? Seems kind of trite to me.

Personally, I’m looking forward to seeing the flick. The trailer was creepy enough to pique my interest; and despite the ugly rumor going around (SPOILER) that the films ends up becoming an imitation (albeit a dark one) of The Truman Show, I still think I’ll enjoy it.

In related news, a pair of documentary filmmakers have completed a special that will be air ing soon on the Sci-Fi Channel. At first it was supposed to be an inside look at the making of The Village, but the article, which you can read for yourself here, says that Shyamalan was such a control freak and only wanted them to speak to certain people, that the scope of their documentary ended up changing, along with the title, which is now being called "The Buried Secret of M. Night Shyamalan."

Airing a special which was suppose to highlight a summer blockbuster and is now going to blast one of most sought-after directors in Hollywood may not be the smartest idea in the history of smart ideas. And strangely fishy, too … A little too fishy, in fact. I think this is all a hoax, in the same vein as The Blair Witch Project. I think the Shyamalan documentary is going to be a fiction acoompaniment to The Village, a mockumentary, if you will. With the spoiler above, it sounds kind of plausible. Sly devils.

Oh! and a new species of fish was recently discovered in Brazil!

Ian